Stop. Bullying. Yourself. Right. Now!

There is so much positive talk with our children these days about bullies. We are aware of how bullying can effect a child at such a basic and fundamental level, that it can destroy lives, literally. We are on the road to empowering our kids about what to do if there is a bully at school... schools are now employing  "zero tolerance" policies, "if you see something, say something" mantras and more.

But, if you think about it.. WE are OUR worst bullies!!  We can REALLY beat ourselves up!!  Would ever even consider telling your friends the thoughts you think about yourself?  Can you imagine telling your best friend "you have nothing to give" or "you are such a bad parent because you took out time for yourself" or "Wow, you look so old that no one will ever find you cute again" or "your idea was dumb, I can't believe you did that".   I can bet that you would NEVER tell anyone of value these things, especially your friends or family. But you know what?  You are the most important value there is! Then why do you say these things to yourself?

You know, you can't escape your mind.. you cannot escape your thoughts. What we tell ourselves (over and over) we tend to believe.  I know I do!  If you say things over and over, you believe it.  It's kind of like the story of Pavlov's dog... every time the dog heard a bell he would salivate because he received a dog treat every time that bell rang.  So... what if you SAID POSITIVE THINGS OVER and OVER creating that automatic response in our brains?

Go around telling yourself that you are unlovable will manifest itself...  so think of POSITIVE phrase that start with I AM.  If you go about your day saying how much you have going for you, how smart you are, how strong you are, how beautiful/handsome you are, you will believe it!  YOUR THOUGHTS BECOME WORDS, YOUR WORDS BECOME ACTIONS, YOUR ACTIONS BECOME YOUR LIFE!*

So STOP.. and correct yourself.  Start your sentence with I AM.  

• I am going to finish this
• I am worthy of the purest love
• I will fight
• I am strong
• I am focused
• No one can stop me
• I have gifts to give and share
• NO ONE IS ME!  I AM THE BEST I CAN BE!

A big thing for me is the act of being GRATEFUL!!  Look around you and see the beauty that surrounds you!  See the gifts that you have been handed in life.  Wouldn't it be rude not to use a gift?  What are some special gifts that you possess?  At the very least, you have the gift of free thought. You have the gift of smiling!  Moving!  Breathing!  Loving!  Feeling and touching, too!!  Celebrate these things that sometimes we overlook, but are the greatest gifts that we can ever have received.

Another important thing you can do, is to only hang around those that support you, that do NOT make you feel bad about yourself.  Those that make you explain yourself and your actions and your reasons, those that tell you that you have flaws, those that make you feel that you cannot speak freely of your thoughts..  are not those you want to be around.  You will never stop negative self talk if you have people around you that make you feel small.  In fact, they are small and you are powerful enough to step away and FORWARD!

Also, find the path to create change in your life.  Step away from those that make you feel small...  find a new job, create a new career that works for you, find a new place to live....  it won't be easy.  In fact, it may seem impossible, but seek it, WORK FOR IT and it will happen.  Repeat the POSITIVE to get you out and seek the BEST because YOU DESERVE THE BEST!

* Thank you for the amazing quote: The Healthy Optimist